There is a glass of water on the table.

Optimists think the water in the glass is half full.

Pessimists think the water in the glass is half empty.

Opportunists and Realists like me, drink the water in the glass, put it back on the table, and then leave.

Professor: And now, Mr. Jones, what do you know about French syntax?

Student: I didn't know they had to pay any.

They were dancing at the service club. He held her tight, his eyes were closed, and they danced as though floating on a cloud. Then the music stopped. "Let's go out on the porch," he said.

Outside, he took her in her arms and whispered in her shell-like ear, "Darling, I love you so. Say that you love me, too. I may not be rich like Sergeant Brown. I may not have a car like Sergeant Brown or spend money like he does, but I love you so much I'd do anything in the world for you."

Two soft, white arms reached around his neck, and two ruby lips whispered in his ear, "Darling, introduce me to Sergeant Brown."

At a restaurant...

Customer: "This steak is burnt black!"

Waiter: "Yes, sir. A mark of respect, sir. Our cook died yesterday."