Bill: "Do you know what a satellite is?"

Phil: "Sure. It's what you put on your horse if you're going to ride him after dark."

Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?

Little Johnny: Just the squashed one.

Some people have a hard time understanding how Noah could fit all those animals inside the ark...

But what amazes me is that Noah built the ark without a single power tool.

Customer: Look here, butcher, you are giving me a big piece of bone. With meat as expensive as it is, I don't want all that bone.

Butcher: I'm not giving it to you, mister, you're paying for it.