Woman: Do you love me?
Man: Yes, dear.
Woman: Would you die for me?
Man: No... mine is an undying love.
My husband is the laziest man I know.
He is so lazy, he doesn't even bother to make coffee.
He just puts coffee in his mustache and drinks hot water.
Ballerinas are always on their toes...
Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?