I'll never forget the excitement when Grandpa shaved off his beard...
... and we found out it was Grandma.
I just bought a new state-of-the-art washer/dryer. It even talks.
This morning it told me what it did with the other sock!
A lot of people are afraid of heights...
Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
Wife: John, what becomes of a ballplayer when his eyesight starts to fail?
John: They make him an umpire.