Patient: Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.
Doctor: Are you taking anything for it?
Patient: Black pepper.
For poker playing plumbers, a flush beats a full house.
A man and his wife are talking:
Man - "What would happen if I were to win the lottery?"
Woman - "I would take half and leave you in a heartbeat!"
Man - "I won twelve dollars, here's six now get out!"
Einstein developed a theory about space... and it was about time too!