We all know that the Super Bowl is the football game with the AFC champion playing the NFC champion.

There should be a Toilet Bowl where the worst team in each conference plays each other, where the winning team gets the first round draft pick and/or a plunger shaped trophy.

You can win a lot of money by betting people that you know the score of Super Bowl 50 (or any other sports game that has a score in it) before it happens.

You guys/gals can place the bet. Then you say: "The score of Super Bowl 50 (or any other sports game that has a score in it) is 0-0 BEFORE IT HAPPENS!!!"

Whenever I go to a restaurant, I always order is "dihydrogen monoxide on the rocks with a clear siphoning tube inside a glass".

The waiters/waitresses always ask me what drink is that?

I tell them that's the scientific name of a glass of ice water with a straw.

When TV repairmen get married they get excellent receptions.