Paul: What are you making?
Arthur: A brilliant new invention.
Paul: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Arthur: Go ahead and laugh. They laughed at Edison, they laughed at Bell, they laughed at Geck.
Paul: Who's Geck?
Arthur: You mean you never heard of Charles Geck?
.
Paul: No, what did he invent?
Arthur: Nothing, but they sure laughed at him.
My wife is a compulsive shopper.
She likes to buy everything that’s marked down.
Last night she brought home an escalator!
Ed: How old is your brother?
Ted: He’s a year old.
Ed: Huh! I’ve got a dog a year old and he can walk twice as well as your brother.
Ted: Sure, your dog has twice as many legs.
Customer: I’ll have a hamburger.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with pickles and onions.