The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?"

The miner replied, "Mine."

I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."

Then I said: "Turn left here."

When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar badly.

And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar... badly.

I used to be in a band called The Hinges...

We opened for The Doors!