On the eve of our 50th Anniversary I quietly confided to my husband that I was having an affair.
He turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”
Pretty Nurse: "Every time I take the patient's pulse it gets faster. What should I do?"
Doctor: "Blindfold him."
When he was four, my grandson Jacob could hardly wait for his first day of school. That morning he waited anxiously with his mother, Katherine, for the bus to arrive.
The bus arrived and he started up the steps to get on. He heard his mom say something just as he passed the bus driver. With tears in her eyes, Katherine said, "What about a kiss?"
Jacob stopped, retraced a few steps, then promptly kissed the bus driver before he took a seat.
My GPS just told me to turn around...
Now I can’t see where I’m driving.