Past Winners

I have one cup of coffee every morning to start the day off right...

The other ones are to keep me out of jail, help me form sentences, and fuel my razor sharp wit!

Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.

He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our phone machine click on.

"Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house."

Simon: How were the exam questions?

Peter: Easy.

Simon: Then why do you look so unhappy?

Peter: The questions didn’t give me any trouble—just the answers.

A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off.

Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over (as much as a snail can rush) to his friend's house.

"I heard about your accident!" he exclaimed, and then asked, "How are you feeling?"

The recovering snail answered, "Sluggish."