Past Winners

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, ''Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?''

''I don't know,'' responded the other.

''I'll ask him. ''So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. ''Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?''

''Intelligence,'' the boss said.

“What do you mean, 'intelligence'?''

The boss said, ''Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.''

The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, ''That's intelligence!''

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, ''What did he say?''

''He said we are down here because of intelligence.''

''What's intelligence?'' said the friend.

The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, ''Take your shovel and hit my hand.''

Three years after the honeymoon it appears their puppy love had matured.

"You don't love me any more," she sobbed. "You use to be so nice to me, and now you are always barking and growling."

"What do you expect," he demanded. "You've always got me in the doghouse."

On a cross country train, one of the passengers told the Pullman porter, "I must get off in Chicago. I'll probably be very sleepy, irritable, and may even object to getting off. Don't mind that. Throw me off the train if necessary."

The train had long since passed Chicago when the passenger woke on his own accord. He stormed down the train looking for the porter. As they almost collided between cars the porter's eyes popped really big and he said, "My goodness! How did you get back on this train?"

The well known concert pianist agreed to listen to a friend's daughter play the piano. He was a very polite man and didn't make a wry face, even though he wanted to.

"Do you think I should go to the conservatory in Paris?" she asked after she had finished.

"It can't hurt," he replied hastily. "There are many eligible bachelors there."