Past Winners

I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...

I'm eggnogstic.

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.

"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked for what.

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...

It'll be called YouTwitFace.

I had the rudest, slowest, and nastiest cashier today...

That’s the last time I use the self checkout lane!