Past Winners

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx...

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Private Duncan replied, "Sure."

The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?"

Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

A man, in his carefree bachelor days, had been very fond of a Washington restaurant which specialized in waffles with honey. Year after year he had visited this place to get this very delectable meal, so when he married, he decided to to take his wife there so they could share the pleasure together. He did not tell her what was coming, merely ordering an excellent meal with two orders of waffles.

The meal came, the waffles came but there were two small pitchers of near maple syrup, but no honey.

He called the waitress over and whispered loud enough for his wife to hear, "Where's my honey?"

The waitress beamed intelligently, "She's on vacation and will be back next week."

An unscrupulous businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal."

"Could you give me a pen and paper?" asked the businessman.

"Do you want to write your will?"

"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite."