Past Winners

No offense, but I was raised to “take care of my husband”...

Wash his clothes, clean the house, wear gloves, get rid of the body, act really sad at the funeral.

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny. "You could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

I am a 65 year old volunteer teacher's assistant at my church's daycare. On the end of the second week of the start of school, one nice 5 year old girl that I noticed was observing me for days finally approached me and said:

"I know how old you are! You are 30 years old."

With shock and surprise in my voice, I said, "Oh my goodness, my grand daughter just turned 30!"

The 5 year old then said, "Wow, that is something! You and your grand daughter are the same age!"