Past Winners

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

Teacher at PTA group meeting one evening...

"All right, class! Let us show your parents and our guests here tonight how much you have learned about patriotism and citizenship. Can any student please tell me why November 3rd is so important and always remembered?"

A small hand is raised in the back... "Yes, Johnny. Please share with us."

Johnny stands up and answers: "That day is so important to Americans and will always be remembered because we won't see non-stop political ads anymore till the next election."

A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'

He stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.''

The teacher says, ''No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?''

Another little boy stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”

Again the teacher says, ''No, that's wrong.''

The teacher asks, ''Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?''

Little Johnny stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.''

''Excellent Little Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?''

Little Johnny says, ''That's easy. Two plus two be fore.”

Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called “One Two Three”, the other “Un Deux Trois”.

Which cat won?

“One Two Three” because “Un Deux Trois” cat sank.