Past Winners

Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?"

Husband proudly replies, "Only you, Darling... with the others, I was awake."

A Mafia Boss finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million dollars. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Marco would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Boss goes to confront Marco about his missing $10 million, he takes his lawyer who knows sign language. The Boss tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Marco, "Where's the money?"

Marco signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about?"

The lawyer tells the Boss, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Boss pulls out a pistol, puts it to Marco's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Marco, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Marco trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, in the shed at my house.

The Boss asks, "What did he say?"

"Boss, he says you're not man enough to pull the trigger."

A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph.

"This is a fine picture" said the neighbor. "But this is a picture of one of the girls. Where is the other one?"

"Well," said the father, "when we got to the photographer's, the good wife and I decided that since the twins look exactly alike, one picture would do for both of them."

In the men's room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "Think!"

The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "Thoap!"