Past Winners

Donald: I’d like to tell you a joke about the measles, but I’d better not.

Mike: Why not?

Donald: You know how those things spread.

A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces.

The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy.

Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.

A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.

The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green. Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire-truck red.

After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?"

Little Johnny replied, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."

Teacher: Why are you late?

Little Johnny: There was an old man that lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: Were you helping him search for it? How nice of you.

Little Johnny: Actually I was sitting on it, waiting for him to give up searching and leave.