Past Winners

Mary Jane: "Your husband's birthday is coming up. What are you getting him?"

Wife: "Oh, 100 of his favorite cigars."

Mary Jane: "What did you pay for them?"

Wife: "Nothing! For the last few months I have taken one or two from his box daily. He has not noticed and will be delighted with my ability in getting the kind he always smoked."

A vain lion wanted to find out why the other animals were not as beautiful as he.

First, he asked a giraffe. The giraffe did not know. Next, the lion asked a bear. The bear had no answer. Then the lion asked a hippopotamus, and again got no answer.

Finally, the lion met a mouse. He asked the mouse, ”Tell me, why aren't you as big, as strong, and as beautiful as I am?”

The mouse looked up at the lion and said, ”Well, I've been sick.”

Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name.

Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said.

"Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco."

The mathematics professor noticed that one of his pupils was going from day-dreaming to sleep and back. He was oblivious and not following the instructions on the chalk board.

To recall his attention the professor said sharply: "Brown, Brown, board!"

Brown, startled looked up and replied, "Yes sir, very much."