Past Winners

“A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie?”

“Gladiator?”

“No, I really miss her.”

A man is stunned when his hot, newly divorced neighbor knocks at his door. He answers eagerly and she asks him, "Are you free tonight?"

He blurts out, "Yes!"

She asks, "Great! Would you watch my kids?"

My kids are like inmates at a jail...

They eat for free, they claim they are innocent, and they don’t like the warden.

The aquarium shop where I work has been in business for more than 20 years. One Sunday a customer called wanting to buy a larger aquarium. "And by the way, I’ve spent a lot of money at your store over the years," he said. "I think I should get a discount."

"Only our owner can give a discount," I explained, "and he won’t be in until tomorrow."

When the customer said that he’d come in the next day, I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with.

"Sure," he said. "Where is your store located?"