Past Winners

A long winded attorney was arguing a technical case before one of the judges of the superior courts. The attorney had rambled on in such a desultory way that it became very difficult to follow his line of thought, and the judge had just yawned very suggestively.

With a trace of sarcasm in his voice, the tiresome attorney ventured to observe: "I sincerely trust that I am not unduly trespassing on the time of this court."

"My friend," returned his honor, "there is considerable difference between trespassing on time and encroaching upon eternity."

Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?

It was full.

A customer walked up to my bank window and asked me to cash a check.

“Of course,” I said. “But I’ll need to see ID.”

She dug though her purse and handed me a snapshot.

“That’s me in the middle,” she said.

The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”

“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.

“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”

“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”