Past Winners

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.

He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

Descartes walked into a bar and ordered a beer.

“Want another?” asked the bartender.

“I think not,” Descartes replied. Then he disappeared.

On a recent congressional trip to Switzerland one of the group spoke to a group. There was very little applause. He was followed by a man that spoke to them in their native tongue.

The applause was deafening and everyone in the group cheered as loudly as the best of them. Then, still clapping, he leaned over to the chairman of the meeting, "What did he say?"

"He was interpreting your speech to them," replied the chairman gravely.

During the spelling period the teacher asked the class: "Will anyone volunteer to spell matrimony?"

Little Johnny, being sort of a precocious young boy, stood up and promptly spelled matrimony.

"Now define it," said the teacher.

Little Johnny replied, "Well, I don't exactly know what it means, but my Aunt Mary says she's had enough of it."