Past Winners

Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat.

“What are you doing?” asked Fred.

Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied “I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can’t find it.”

Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. “But I’ve got to,” said Sam, “my teeth are in it!”

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with mom.

Just found out on my tax return that there's a limit on dependents...


I thought 45 was reasonable, but I was wrong.

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.

There was a big sign posted... "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I had a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."