Past Winners

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?

A tractor.

Farmer: "I've arranged my garden so as not to be caught by droughts this summing."

Neighbor: "What did you do?"

Farmer: "I planted my potatoes and onions in alternate rows. The onions will make the potatoes eyes water and reduce the need for water."

Milkman (to new hand): "Did you put water in the milk this morning?"

New hand: "Yes sir."

Milkman: "Don't you know this is wicked?"

"But you told me to mix water with the milk?"

"Yes, but I told you to put the water in first and then pour the milk into it. Then, you see, we can tell the people we never put water in our milk."