Past Winners

Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor.

"Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them."

The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."

After reviewing Little Johnny's report card, Johnny's mother gave praise for the marks he received except for one class. "Johnny, I wish you would pay a little attention to your arithmetic."

"Well I do," Johnny replied. "I pay as little attention to arithmetic as possible."

I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store...

Clothes, but no cigar.

A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.

"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.

"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."