Past Winners

The trial went on for 4 weeks with testimony by both sides. Finally, the jury retired to determine the verdict.

After 2 days the jury had reached a decision to acquit the prisoner.

Judge: "What possible reason could you have for acquitting the prisoner?"

Foreman: "Insanity, sir."

Judge: "What, all twelve of you?"

During graduate school, I tutored a football player in Psychology 101. After the session, my supervising professor asked me if I was interested in the student, since he was a good-looking athlete.

“No, I’m not,” I assured him.

“Yeah, you probably prefer men who eat quiche,” he joked.

“Actually, I prefer men who can spell quiche.”

Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.

Man: Wait! I can explain everything.

A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal."

The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy.

"Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?"

"Under the hay," was the response.