Past Winners

What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

A struggling zoo's main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. They can't afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week.

He quickly becomes even more popular than the original gorilla, everyone wants to see the human like gorilla. After a few months his popularity begins to wane so he decides to raise the stakes. He climbs out of his enclosure and dangles from a tree in the lion exhibit but he loses his grip and falls.

Scared he begins to yell for help, "Somebody help!"

With this a lion pounces on top of him and whispers, "Shut up or you'll get us both fired!"

At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day.”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher."

Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a fool, fawning and cringing before her. Its like you don't care to call your soul your own."

Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?"

Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage."