Past Winners

"Yes," said the lawyer to his client. "You have got the best case I have ever heard."

"Thanks," said the client, grabbing up his coat and heading out the door.

"Where are you going?" ask the astonished lawyer.

"I'm going to settle this case out of court," said the leaving client.

"But I told you it is the best case I have ever heard?"

"Maybe," began the client, "but not for me, I told you the other fellow's case."

One doctor ask another if, "Are you any good at palmistry?"

"Well, not exactly. However, the other night I did look at a lady's hand, and one glance told me she was going to be lucky," he replied.

"Why how's that?" the first doctor ask.

The reply: "Well it had four aces in it."

A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.

Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?

Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.

Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.

Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore."

Her: "And the other half?"

Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money."