Past Winners

A starving artist was discussing his recent painting for a local museum.

"Was it hung?"

"Yes, near the entrance where everyone could see it."

"Congratulations! What was it?"

"A board saying, 'Keep to the left'..."

During the recent winter Olympus the leading downhill skier. was told he had a temperature.

"How high is it doctor?" he wanted to know.

"A hundred and one..."

"What's the world record?"

Marine corporal (at a party): "Do you see that officer over there? He is the meanest egg I have ever seen. He is an ugly sap of an officer."

She: "Do you know who I am? I am that officer's daughter."

Corporal: "Do you know who I am?"

She: "No..."

Corporal: "Good."

The arithmetic teacher proposed the following to the class, "If there are three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?"

After a short time, Little Johnny shouts out, "Two left."

The teachers response, "I'm afraid you don't get the point. Let me repeat the joke. There were three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?

Johnny replied again, "Two left."

Teacher, "No, none would be left, because when one is shot, the other two would fly away."

Johnny, "That's what I said, TWO LEFT!!!"