Past Winners

Little Johnny's teacher was preparing the students for the upcoming Spelling Bee when she asked Johnny to "Spell Straight."

Little Johnny: "S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T."

Teacher: "Correct; what does it mean?"

Little Johnny: "Without ginger ale."

Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"

Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard."

Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.

The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"

Little Johnny: "Why does it rain, dad?"

Father: "To make the flowers grow and the grass and the trees."

Little Johnny: "So why does it rain on the sidewalk?"