Past Winners

A newcomer to the neighborhood consulted one of the established residents in regard to a doctor.

"My little daughter," she explained, "has swallowed a gold piece and has got to be operated on. I wonder if Dr. Robertson is to be trusted?

"Without a doubt," her neighbor assured her, "he's absolutely honest."

I’ve been really depressed lately. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up.

I went today, but not one person would pet me.

Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings...

One by one...

As each relative goes home.

Me: "I think I have a crush on Beyoncé..."

Her: "Whatever floats your boat."

Me: "No, that’s buoyancy."