Past Winners

While at the dinosaur exhibit in Disney’s Animal Kingdom park, I overheard a confused woman complaining to her friend.

She said, "How could they possibly know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago? And another thing, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?"

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call. “Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband left, leaving her broke with four kids?”

“I … I … I had no idea.”

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

A 5 year old kid opened his birthday present to find a new toy car. He went up to his father who had just finished dying his hair. The kid was upset. “Dad, I wanted a red toy car and not a blue one.”

The father replied, “A car is a car. Red or blue, color doesn’t matter.”

The kid said, “Then dad, hair is hair. White or black, color doesn’t matter.”

While I was making a huge batch of snicker doodle cookies, I asked my ten-year-old to read the recipe and ingredients off the box to me, doubling them as he went along.

He did as he was told. His first instruction: "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees."