Past Winners

Hanging up with my 90-year-old mother, I sighed, then said to 
my 96-year-old uncle, “She’s so 
stubborn.”

He shook his head sympathetically and warned, “You’re going to have trouble with her when she gets old.”

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.”

“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”

"If you put your hand in your right pocket and found 25 rupees, and put your hand in the left pocket and found 50 rupees, what would you do?"

"I would immediately rush to my tailor and ask him to stitch more pockets on my trousers!"

How to survive the coldest winter days:

1) Get dressed

2) Walk outside

3) Turn around

4) Return to inside

5) GET BACK IN BED!