Past Winners

If God had wanted me to touch my toes...

He would have put them on my knees!

My college son texted me a request for additional funds. He ended his text with "PLZ".

I asked him why he used the abbreviation. He said it was shorter than writing please.

I replied with, "No."

He asked why. I said it was shorter than writing yes.

I love making clothes for my five-year-old granddaughter. And she, in turn, always seems happy to accept them. The other day, I asked if she would like me to make her a skirt.

"Yes," she said. "But this time, could you make it look like it came from a store?"

Employee: "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Right decisions."

Employee: "And how do you make right decisions?"
Manager: "One word."

Employee: "And, What is that?"
Manager: "Experience."

Employee: "And how do you get Experience?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Wrong decisions."