Past Winners

A psychiatrist met an old patient and exclaimed, "I heard you died."

"But you see I'm alive," smiled the ex-patient.

"Impossible," said the psychiatrist. "I was told you'd died by a colleague who's had 22 peer-reviewed papers published, so his opinion's bound to be much more reliable than yours."

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet...

I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What kind of music do Christmas elves like the best?

Wrap music!

“That’s a nice plant,” said a woman at the florist’s shop, pointing to the flower I was buying.

“Yeah, my wife and I had an argument,” I admitted. “I was going to buy her a dozen roses, but I don’t think she’s THAT mad at me.”