Past Winners

"Daddy," said my 10-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army."

"Baby," I answered, "I think the Air Force would be a better option for you."

"But I don’t want to be a pilot."

"You don’t have to be a pilot," I told her. "There are other jobs in the Air Force."

Her answer: "I don’t want to be a flight attendant either."

While editing announcements for a newspaper, I came across an item promoting a camp for children with asthma.

Aside from all the wonderful activities the kids could enjoy, such as canoeing, swimming, crafts and more, it promised that its lakefront property offered something the kids probably did not expect... breathtaking views!

I had finished my Christmas shopping early and had wrapped all the presents. Having two curious children, I had to find a suitable hiding place. I chose an ideal spot—the furnace room. I stacked the presents and covered them with a blanket, positive they’d remain undiscovered.

When I went to get the gifts to put them under the tree, I lifted the blanket and there, stacked neatly on top of my gifts, were presents addressed to "Mom and Dad, From the Kids."

A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged.

"I only pay 30 bucks for my own haircut!" she said.

The groomer replied, "That may be true. But then you don't bite, do you?"