Past Winners

"Why did they arrest you?"

"They said I was shopping too early."

"Well, that's not a crime. How early were you shopping?"

"Before the store opened."

A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.

"No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power.

Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we have no power. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane."

I knew she was the one for me when we went walking through the evergreen trees.

It was love at firs site.

A man goes into a coffee shop and says, "I would like one of your special breakfasts."

"No problem," comes the reply from behind the counter.

"But I want it my way," says the man.

"What do you mean 'your way'?" asks the waiter.

The man says, "Well, I want the eggs only half done," he says. "I want the baked beans done so they are baking hot on the top and freezing cold on the bottom. I want the bacon stuck to the plate with grease, with more rind than actual bacon. I want fried bread so greasy that the grease pours out of it."

"I don't have the time to do all that!" replies the waiter.

"Well it seemed you had the time yesterday!" answers the guest.