Past Winners

One day a husband says to his wife, “Today is a fine day!” Next day he says it again. “Today is a fine day.” Again next day, he says same thing, “Today is a fine day.”

Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband, “Since last week, you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up. What’s the matter?”

"Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.' I was just trying to remind you."

A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small, out of the way, town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went.

He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said.

The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. You want 2 nines or 3 sixes?"

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying.

She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, "Nobody loves me...the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word... "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheeks.