Past Winners

5/26/2016 To 6/2/2016
$10.00 won 5 votes

Dr. Boudreaux was performing a science experiment on a common insect, the flea. He proceeded to carefully remove one leg from the flea on which he was working. Then he shouted, "Jump!", and the flea jumped. He recorded his findings as such, "flea can jump with one leg removed."

Then he carefully removed a second leg and said, "Jump!" Again the flea jumped with no problem and he recorded the findings. He continued the experiment one leg at a time until all the legs had been removed. The flea, now legless, sat motionless when ordered to jump.

"Hmmm, very interesting," Dr. Boudreaux commented. Then he recorded his findings..."When all the legs have been removed from a flea, he can't hear anything."

5 votes

CATEGORY Science Jokes
posted by "Marla" |
5/26/2016 To 6/2/2016
$9.00 won 1 votes

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
5/26/2016 To 6/2/2016
$8.00 won 2 votes

Dear Mom & Dad:

We're having a great time here at Lake Typhoid! Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are okay. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.

Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty; and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Webb wouldn't let me because I can't swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Webb isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets.

He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.

Also Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison.

I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.

Love, Billy

P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
5/26/2016 To 6/2/2016
$7.00 won 1 votes

A priest was walking down the sidewalk and saw a young boy pouring a liquid back and forth between two glasses. When he asked the boy what he was playing with, the boy told him that it was sulfuric acid. Horrified the priest took our his Holy water and offered to exchange with the boy.

When the boy said no, the priest tried to convince the boy that the holy water was better by telling him he had just put some of his Holy water on the tummy of a woman and she had passed a baby. The boy said, "That's nothing, I accidentally dropped some of this on the tail of a cat and he passed a bus."

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "cacooke" |