Past Winners

Wanting to have a quick love-making session, the couple told their 8-year-old son to go stand on the balcony with a popsicle and to report to them all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed.

"An ambulance just drove by." A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike."

A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving... and Jason is on his skate board." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex."

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sex?"

"Because Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a popsicle too."

Electile Dysfunction - the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President, put forth by either party in the 2016 election year.

A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, "Today we have lobster tales for 50 cents."

He said, "I'll take a dozen!"

She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, "Are you ready for your first tale?"

He assured her he couldn't wait. Then she began... "Once upon a time there was this little lobster....."

The local hospital for the criminally insane has been trying to help the inmates adjust to society and also get exercise at the same time. So, they built a nice nature center with a nature trail around the grounds.

What did they name this nature trail?

What else, Psycho Path.