Past Winners

I asked my friend , "What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?"

He said "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

I asked "Can you explain?"

He said "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my Wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, i asked him "Give me some examples".

He said "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit the super market, when & where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. Are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it "

I asked "Then, what is your role?"

He said "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether Bodoland should be formed or not, whether Dhoni should retire from Cricket , Whom should Salman Khan Marry. etc etc. and do you know, my wife; NEVER, objects to any of these decisions...

A family enters a large store. After browsing for several moments they purchase some goods and head for the large counter at the front of the store.

They notice a robotic seal standing in a corner situated near the counter. It is dressed in a tuxedo and each time goods are packaged the seal nods as if in agreement.

After the third purchase is made the father asks the counter assistant why the robot nods each time.

The assistant replies, "Isn't it obvious? It's our seal of approval."

I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, "Does anyone here know CPR?"

Someone else stood up and said, "Yeah, I know the whole alphabet."

We all laughed and laughed and laughed... well, except this one guy.

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper when a guy comes over and asks, "Are you reading that?"

I didn’t know what to say. So I said, "Yes."

I then stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.