Past Winners

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asks, "What's that for?"

"It's for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He replies, "Gotcha!"

The nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the emergency room where another golfer, who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated by a doctor.

"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.

"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."

Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession. At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people. Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks, "Who’s funeral is this?"

The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”

Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”

"This is the dog that killed her.”

So Tom asks, “Can I borrow the dog for an hour?”

He responds, “Get in line!”

The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"

"Yes, coach", replied the boy.
"Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?"

The boy nodded in agreement. The coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him insulting names. Do you understand all that?"

Again, the boy nodded yes. The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach dumb, or stupid, or worse, is it?"

"No, coach."

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your Grandmother."