misc jokes

“Is there anything wrong?” asked bartender of the young, well-dressed customer who sat staring grimly into his drink. “Two months ago my grandfather died and left me one- hundred thousand dollars” said the man. “That doesn’t sound like anything to be upset about,” said the bartender. “It should happen to me.” “Yeah,” said the sour young man, “but last month an uncle on my father’s side passed away. He left me ninety-five thousand dollars.” “So why are you sitting here looking so unhappy?” Asked the bartender. “This month – so far – not a cent.”

An inebriated man and his drunken friend were sitting at a bar.
“Do you know what time it is?” Asked the drunk.
“Sure,” said the man
“Thanks,” said the drunk.

An elegantly dressed woman entered the business office and approached an executive.
“Sir,” said the lady, “I am soliciting funds for the welfare and rehabilitation of wayward women. Would you care to donate?’ “Sorry,” replied the exec, “but I contribute directly.”!

The latest reports from the Internal Revenue service shows that it has streamlined its tax form this year.
It goes like this:
A. How much did you make last year?
B. How much do you have left?
C. Send B.