misc jokes

A cow and a horse got into an accident while they were coming around a blind corner. Who is to be blamed?
The cow... because she didn't blow her horn!

Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked; “what is the quickest way to the lake? The local thought for a while. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist. “I’m driving.” “That is the quickest way!” the local said.

At a BBQ a couple was chatting with some guests when the marriage counseling topic came up. The wife very pompous commented; “Oh we’ll never need that. My husband and I have an excellent relationship.” “My husband was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I am listening.”