misc jokes

....have you heard about the new Italian electric car?.....it's just $2000.
But the extension cord is $12000.

A duck walks into a job center and says to the man behind the desk 'Excuse me; I'm looking for a job. Can you help?'
The man can't believe it and replies 'hold on minute sir, I'll make some enquiries for you'....the man then phones up a showbiz agency and explains that there's this amazing talking duck wanting a job and could the agent find him work in a show somewhere. Obviously the agent is excited and has no problem in finding a show for the duck.

The man goes back to the duck and says 'Good news sir, I've found you job in show business'

With this the duck replies 'That’s no good, I'm a plumber'

Q: Why did the farmer get a Nobel Prize?

A: He was out-standing in his field!

A lady walking down the street one day saw a man walking towards her. The man was talking to himself, waving his arms around his head and jumping up and down three times. He repeated this several times. The lady asked the man what he was doing? The man replied I am keeping the pink elephants away.
The lady replied, "Why? There are no pink elephants around here."

The man replied, "I know, works great doesn't it?"