misc jokes

A girl involved with the women’s lib group boarded a crowded bus and one man rose to his feet. “No, No, you must not give up your seat. I insist,” she said.
The man replied; “You may insist as much as you like, Lady,” “This is my street where I get off.”

Wife: I dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You would not spoil that dream, would you, Dear?
Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $500.00

The choir had just come out of rehearsal. “Am I to assume that you do a lot of singing at home?” Mr. Harris asked a fellow choir member, David Grey. “Yes, I sing a lot. I use my voice just to kill time,” said David. Mr. Harris nodded, “You certainly have a fine weapon.”

Two idiots are sitting in front of a mirror.
One said, "Why don’t we meet the two people in the mirror", so they stood up and the other one said, "sit, sit they're coming!"