misc jokes

Q. What’s the difference between a man and a government bond?
A. Bonds mature.

Q: How do young wizards and witches correct their homework?
A: They use a spell-checker.

Teacher: Farai, what are the two days of the week, which start with letter "T"?
Farai: Today and tomorrow Sir.

A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?"