misc jokes

Guy: I hope I don't get a cake on my birthday.
Girl: Why?
Guy: Because I wouldn't be able to blow the candles out.
Girl: Why?
Guy: Because you just took my breath away!

There's a sadist and a masochist locked in a room. The sadist is starting to freak out and says please, please hit me. The masochist just smiles and says “no.”

Q. What did the salt say to the pepper?
A. Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!

It was Halloween night... A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him. He turned around and saw a coffin following him. He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him. He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs. The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs. The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom. The coffin burst into the bathroom. The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find. What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.