misc jokes

You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When... 
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. 
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. 
· All of your friends have an @ in their names. 
· Your dog has its own home page. 
· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem. 
· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. 
· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher." 
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg. 
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. 

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:

· Buff your mouse pad 
· Make a list of things to download 
· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem 
· Count to 500 in "click" language 
· Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!) 
· Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter

Two Antartians are walking down the street. One finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. 
Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" 
"Give it to me", says the other Antartian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, silly! It's me!"

Two Antartians are walking down the street. One finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. 
Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" 
"Give it to me", says the other Antartian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, silly! It's me!"