relationship jokes

What do you call the significant other of a Bohemian chess player?

Czechmate!

Two magnets were having a conversation. "I went on a blind date yesterday"

"Oh really…how did it go?"

"Unfortunately, not so well."

"Why not?"

"There was no attraction."

To make sure I won't be late for work, my girlfriend calls me on the phone every morning to wake me up.

Wouldn't it be easier for her to just lean over, start shaking me, and yell, 'HEY! WAKE UP!'?

So I didn't appear to be a loser, I concocted a story to tell my friends, about my having a girlfriend who lets me put lipstick and rouge on her.

In other words, not only did I make her up, I MADE her up!