Best Jokes

"George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch but I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back."

Just then the door flew open and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me a half-million-dollar order!"

"See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches."

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots, fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.

The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

Sign In Pet Store:

"Buy one dog, get one flea!"

My friend's son worked at a fast-food restaurant when he was in high school. One night while he was manning the drive-thru, a customer told him that the intercom wasn't working properly.

My friend's son went about filling the order while a female co-worker fiddled with the intercom.

After making some fixes, she asked, "Is that okay now?"

"Well, no," the customer replied. "Now you sound like a girl."